It wasn’t until I became a mama myself that I realized just how silent our community is on the realities of motherhood. This reality hit me in the lady bits like a freight train (both figuratively and literally) about two months postpartum. I’m a researcher- ask my husband, my parents, my friends, my co-workers; they all can tell you that I am thorough in my investigative work (I like to follow the boy scout’s motto). So you can imagine my surprise when I realized this in full capacity around midnight 8 weeks postpartum when I had a screaming baby in my hands who refused to go back to sleep no matter what we did. People told me it would get better, but it only got harder.
I quickly hit an all time low as I struggled to maintain control and try to meet XYZ expectations of being the best mother. The mamahood community can be very polarizing at times; there’s a lot of “do’s and don’ts” and if you do a don’t or don’t a do, you can be bullied, ridiculed, or harassed. It’s an extreme learning curve in a short amount of time and there’s a long list of things you need to know to be the “ultimate” example of an amazing mother. As you can imagine, this can set you up for failure or at least make you feel like you’re constantly failing. And mama didn’t raise no quitter, and she also raised a perfectionist, type A control freak (just kidding- that’s me all on my own), so surprise! I felt like I was failing my sweet little babe all the dang time.
The reality is, motherhood is effing hard no matter which way you slice it. And I feel its our duty as women to not only give each other a head’s up on what lay ahead, but also be there to support other women on this journey because it can be incredibly isolating at times. I’m not sure why we sweep this under the rug. Maybe we don’t want others to see our pain or how hard it is because we think that makes us weak? Or because the truth is ugly? But the fact is, the very notion that we keep on persevering despite everything that we are facing is what makes us incredible, irreplaceable, and stronger than we can ever imagine. Even if your mind or the world is telling you the opposite.
I don’t want anyone to feel the way I did after becoming a mother. That’s why I created this blog with the hopes that women everywhere will not only feel better prepared for motherhood, but also feel like they can better manage their new life.
Love this! Motherhood IS hard, and no two babies are alike. Instead of criticizing we need to support one another and stand together. ❤️
Yes! There is no one size fits all with babies. Thank you!
Bex you are an awesome mom and I LOVE reading about your adventures and point of view.
YOU are an awesome mama! Thank you so much! Love you!
I’m not even a mother yet, but I’ve already noticed the “everything is fine and dandy” mentality that mothers work hard to portray. Working in the mother/baby unit in a hospital I see first hand that things are NOT always fine and dandy! Thank you for being real. Thank you for being honest. I’m not a mother yet, nor am I expecting, yet I am excited to begin following your candid blog 🙂
Awh, thank you so much, Krista! Your comment made my day! Yes, you are already ahead of the game if you’re recognizing the problem. You will be an incredible mama one day, just like your mom was.