As a mama that doesn’t have a lot of time on her hands, but also has fragile hair post-baby (thanks, pregnancy), heatless curlers seemed like THE WAY to go for an at home blowout.
I saw these puppies on Amazon and they had incredible reviews. Plus, they were super cute. I thought, why not? What could go wrong? It was foolproof!
Au contraire. The stars were apparently not aligned for me, and I guess I peeved someone off upstairs big time. Because everything went wrong. And I do mean EVERYTHING. That or I’m the biggest idiot in the world (which is also totally possible).
I wasn’t going to post this. It’s freaking embarrassing. But dangit, if I hadn’t already put hours work into the blog post for it to be tossed in the trash. Most bloggers posts great, sparkling reviews on how to make your life better if you buy xyz product. But, I’m not your average kinda gal, I like to break the rules and so, this is going to be a review on curlers you DON’T want to buy.
Unless you want revenge on your mortal enemy. In that case, click “add to cart” and get ready to make someone’s life living hell.
I hopped in the shower, and did my normal thing. Washed my hair, sang obnoxiously and offkey to Taylor Swift, and nicked myself with a razor. The usual.
I got out, towel dried my hair, and put on my fancy robe (which I normally wouldn’t wear but I figured you didn’t want your eyes to burn so you’re welcome). I added my standard dry shampoo and hairspray to my roots (not too much, but I wanted to keep my hair from getting greasy quickly).
So, I rolled my hair up. All seemed well, except these were supposed to stay in your hair without being pinned. They didn’t, so ya girl was scrambling to find bobby pins. In the process, Briggs grabbed my makeup bag and broke my favorite MAC pallet all over the floor. So that was cool.
Then, not all of my hair fit in the curlers! I got medium sized curlers (set of 12) and I have thin, fine hair. This was surprising. I ended up with a rat tail smack dab in the back-middle and I looked like Billy Ray Cyrus’s redheaded cousin from the boonies of Tennessee.
Still, I pressed on with hope and faith. Truly. Because I finally got them all pinned (and I pinned up my rat tail myself) and sat around the house for the next few hours. I was like a kid in a candy shop, thinking I had discovered the mystery of life. I kid you not.
My hair unfortunately holds water so once I felt like it was almost dry, I took a hair dryer to ’em to dry it up just a bit more (which fully defeats the purpose of heatless, I know) but I thought that would help set them a bit more!
And then, all hell absolutely broke lose. Silly me thought I could just simply unroll them from my hair. But…they wouldn’t come out. Like, they were STUCK in my hair!!!! I managed to get all but two out, before I called (read: screamed) for Jesse to come help me.
He came bulldozing through the door, thinking I was dying. I asked him to work on one while I tried to get the other out. Big mistake. HUGE mistake. Because he made it worse. Didn’t know that was possible but yep. It was at this point that scissors were mentioned. I was holding back tears. B was screaming and crying while Jesse was trying to take pictures. It was a madhouse. I yelled for everyone to get out of the bathroom so I could work in peace.
I was in full on crisis mode, but I was also determined to not cut these out of my hair. I had to take a break because my arms were so tired from trying to get those gosh dang curlers out! Finally after 20 minutes, I was able to get the last two rollers out.
All that work, and my hair didn’t even curl. Yes, you read that right. I could’ve gotten more body and curl from my flat iron. So not only was this a waste of an entire day and I lost a chunk of my hair in the process, my hair wasn’t even done. What little style it did have, fell shortly after.
So there ya have it. Don’t make my same mistakes, ladies. Avoid these curlers at all costs! Seriously though, can I sue? At least for emotional distress. I deserve it.